The 5 Things I Won’t Miss About Being Pregnant

Every time I open the fridge, I’m pretty sure I stare at the beer like the picture of a long-lost boyfriend.* So sweet, so missed, yet still oh so unattainable.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this whole growing and nurturing a little human being sure takes the cake for “coolest thing I have ever accomplished,” but there are some things I do really look forward to enjoying again.

So, in honor of these last few weeks of waiting, and all the moms who’ve ever felt the same (#solidarity), here they are – in no particular order – the 5 things I won’t miss about being fat pregnant:

1.) I will not miss my swollen fingers… 

pretty sure, right now, I could give the michelin man a run for his money.

2.) I will not miss the side sleeping… 

my poor hips don’t lie – they hate me right now.

3.) I will not miss all the weird comments and questions from strangers (see here for an articulation)… 

although I have a feeling it’s only going to get worse. I just know the ever dreaded “can I give you advice about parenting” stage is about to begin.

4.) I will not miss having to abstain from drinking a full 12-oz (or more, let’s not lie, definitely more) beer…

already taking suggestions on which beer should be my “I just pushed out a baby” prize! (Don’t worry – I’ll consume it within a reasonable time in-between feedings. Looking at you Judgy-McJudgesters.)

5.) I will not miss the inability to really work out…

Oh how I miss you running… and crunches… and breathing normally.

But, beyond all this, I will indeed miss the miracle that is experiencing growing a little life within me. There is no other experience that is both incredibly weird and awkward yet so wildly natural. It has truly been a special 9 months and I’m so grateful. There has been no greater joy and honor than sacrificing my body (and patience) for this little girl. What a gift it is to get to continue to experience her grow beyond these 40-weeks. Just now, I’ll get kicked on the outside.

Okay, I’m done reminiscing. Cecilia, feel free to make your big debut anytime now!


*This analogy is merely for the sake of description. Don’t worry, I’m happily married. 🙂

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