“It is not the strength of the body that counts, but the strength of the spirit.” (J.R.R. Tolkien)
I really don’t know how I did it… I really don’t know how I got through labor without screaming for an epidural (at least out loud that is). I could give you some ideas as to what helped, but really, I think it came down to sheer determination.
You see, back in October, Robbie and I made the decision that we were going to do this whole birthing thing naturally. Yup. No drugs. All that pain. But, ultimately rendering all of the incredible benefits that God worked into His design of childbirth. We took Bradley Method classes and I loved them. We learned relaxation techniques and different positions to labor in to help relieve and relax while helping to progress the labor. While this was all incredibly helpful, it was a warrior attitude that I could do this – that I could do what many don’t think is possible – that became ingrained in my very psyche, that became by backbone during the 3 LONG emotional days I labored.
I’m not going to sugar coat it though – every moment sucked. It was hard and I didn’t actually think it was going to end. The doctors and nurses were all amazed that I was able to birth Cecilia naturally as her 9lbs and 9oz body was clearly not proportional to mine. I don’t blame them for thinking I was crazy. But, that moment she was placed into my arms made everything worth it.. those 9 hard months of pregnancy, those 9 extra days of waiting past her due date, those 3 days of labor, all of that pain, and all of those moments I didn’t think I could go on… I had felt as though I finished a marathon in first place. My reward was so much sweeter than the pain. But, the pain made this sweet reward even more incredible.
That was the true lesson I learned on March 5th, 2017. Motherhood is this great gift that God gives, and it is the gift that keeps on giving even when it is difficult. Because in these moments of difficulty lie the greatest moments to resign completely to God’s strength.
I am so happy to be on the other end of labor, but I am so grateful to God for giving me the opportunity to endure all that I have for my sweet girl. I will endure anything I must for you my love. You have truly changed my life. And I love you more than you will ever know!
I’d be remiss to not mention how amazing my husband was through the entire process. He was the greatest coach and partner I could’ve asked for. He may tell you he didn’t do anything, but I cannot even count the number of times I wanted to give up when I heard him say, “you are doing an amazing job” or “this contraction means you are one step closer to meeting our little girl.” That was so often all I needed to hear to believe in myself and to keep pursuing the goal.
To all of you who prayed for us and continue to do so, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart! I cannot even tell you how much those prayers meant and how they carried us through it all.
One last note: No matter what labor method (epidural, induced, cesarian, etc) you chose (or chose you) – moms are AMAZING for what they do for their babes. I have so much respect for each and every one of you.