I’ve always been an optimistic person. Put me in any situation and you’ll find me, with determination, trying to identify the silver lining. I’m pretty sure this is a good quality. We need more hope in the world, right? After all, perspective is important. A belief in something is often the first step to its realization.
But, what’s funny is that these last three weeks since Cecilia has been born, it isn’t optimism that I want but the permission to just be okay. To reject optimism in lieu of a meeting with the cause of my frustration.
In the midst of learning how to be a new parent, “It will get better” is ironically the last thing I’ve wanted to hear.
Sometimes, all I think we really want in those hard moments of life is for someone to say “I’m sorry, that sucks.” And, then sit there with us while we experience that pain.
There is real merit in encountering the darkness first before proclaiming the light. I think of Mary, the mother of God. She didn’t plaster on a cheery smile while Jesus hung on the cross and say, “no need to cry, it will all get better” but encountered the pain with Him. She courageously stood by Him as He suffered. Although sinless, I’m sure she experienced every human emotion that equated to “this sucks.” I mean her freaking heart was pierced by a sword… Yes, there was hope in the end. The joy did follow the sorrow. But, the pain wasn’t glossed over like a chore we would rather pretend to forget. It was fought – head on – with confidence and courage.
This is what I want. I want to be told, “that sucks but you’ve got this, you are strong, and each day is a new day to love your family even more authentically and sacrificially than before.” This is what encourages me to dig in, to fight harder, and to endure the pain.
I know it will get better, but what I need to hear now – more than ever – is that I am equipped and capable of grunting through the pain required to get me over that mountain and to the sunny pasture of that promise.
Thank you my momma friends for always teaching me how to do the amazing and encouraging me with your example that it is possible to accomplish what feels like the impossible.